The Toggle
Ever since I was a child I have loved to travel. Road trips, camping, adventures, flying here and there.
I’m sure that surprises exactly no one.
My mom sometimes would take me with her on her work trips and we would get to fly. It was the most exciting thing! I loved the little winglet pins the flight attendants would give me, and those little bags of pretzels seemed so special back then. Bustling airports were a wonderland to my 5-year-old self and ever since I can remember, I have been fascinated by the enormous jumbo jets—the double-deckers. A flying hotel! I remember my dad going to India when I was 6 years old, and he told me all about his experience on the majestic 747. I was awe-struck.
To this day, I still have yet to fly on one of those regal Dream Liners, but I always make it a point on long layovers to go over and check them out. If I’m really lucky I get to watch them land and take off.
This particular morning, I am in an airport waiting to board just such a jet. It has got to be my lucky day, because they announce at the gate that they have a lottery for a first class suite! Wow—a dream come true! How could I not go up to the desk and see what’s required to put my name in for it?
I walk up to the desk, and the attendant seems genuinely happy to see me…
…almost like she knows me.
I inquire about the lottery, and she says it’s $111 to put my name in. Interesting number for me—11 has always been a number that means something to me. I was born on November 11… at 11am. I feel like I have to say yes. We start working on the exchange, and she says—”Actually, consider this our gift to you Miss Gold.” What?! My childhood fantasy coming true right now and all I had to do was say YES!
The Treehouse Terminal
Ecstatic with this impossible luck, I saunter off to grab a coffee before we board. As I’m wandering through the airport, I notice that this is unlike any airport I’ve ever been in. It looks like an enormous, high-end tree house. Everything is made of polished gnarled wood. The bases of all the tables are thick tree stumps and root balls. The pin lights hanging from the tall ceilings look like flowers hanging from vines. This is the most beautiful airport I’ve ever seen, I think to myself.
And then I start to realize that I’m not sure exactly where I am… What country am I in again? And how did I even get here? Where am I even going?
Hmmmmm…
At the moment this realization begins to coalesce, a tall and dapper older gentleman with a curled mustache comes over to my table and greets me casually with great familiarity…
…like he knows me.
He starts a conversation with me—it feels strangely like a conversation that we are just picking up again.
Do I know him, too?
As he’s talking I notice that he is dressed in a solid gold flight suit with a large star over the breast. His hat is even solid gold.
Am I in some kind of circus airport???
It becomes clear that he’s the pilot. He informs me it’s almost time to board and he’d like to walk me to the gate. As we walk down the corridor (which looks suspiciously like a hollowed-out Sequoia), he begins to regale me with stories of his experiences with lucid dreaming and all the miracles that are possible—healing, transcendent experiences of pure light, explorations of the Mysteries!
I start laughing out loud and he smiles at me broadly with twinkles in his velvety brown eyes.
Aha! That’s why I don’t know where I am or how I got here! Took you long enough to figure it out, Jess!
I start looking for my boarding pass and realize that I left it on the counter at the gate. The airport is so twisty and turny that I cannot find the gate again. I started to feel a little panic setting in, but then I remembered…
But Jess, you’re dreaming. Make it so the gate is around the next corner.
And so it was.
Also, Jess—make it so your boarding pass is in your hand.
And so it was.
Miracles abound.
The Ayunara Flight
We board the plane and climb the stairs to the first class suites. The jovial golden airman shows me to my cabin and I settle in. I see that the windows of the plane are extremely large—and also completely open-air!
What?!
Plants and flowers are growing around the walls and window frames. There is literally a garden around my seat. It even smells amazing. I reach down and rub the petals of the flowers between my fingers. Soft and velvety. I start touching everything around me just to see if it feels like it does in “real life.”
The fabric on the seat? Yup.
The metal on the seat belt? … Yes. It does.
This is more real than real. The effervescent feeling of joy and laughter is bubbling inside my chest.
The plane starts moving, gaining in speed and we start to take off. There is wind in my hair, but much less than one might expect given the circumstances. As we rise into the air I look down at the landscape, and catch my breath. Verdant mountains are rising out of turquoise waters, each peak with a golden statue on top in the shape of a whale fluke. My heart is exploding at this point because I have never seen anything so beautiful.
What is this place? I ask out loud.
Somehow there is someone next to me—I had been alone in the cabin just a split second ago. Or at least I thought I was. But somehow I also knew there was someone there to ask. Had they been there the whole time? I could not look directly at whomever I was speaking to– only glimpses from my peripheral dream vision. Curious.
They answered me, “This is Ayunara. And if you’ll allow me, I’ll guide you into the next part of this dream.”
I am not sure if this was a man or a woman, or even a human being. So I will just refer to them as “The Guide.”
The Guide handed me something that looked like a golden pretzel and instructed me to eat it.
Plane snack upgrade! Hahaha! Dreams are funny.
As I bit into it, it crunched and a sweet, honey-like liquid flowed out and filled my mouth.
The guide then handed me a shell full of dark pink liquid, “Drinking this as well as eating the shell will take you deeper into the dream.”
The Ultimate Toggle
I did as instructed. My body began to disappear as I ate the shell, and I suddenly rematerialized in a cave of jewels. The cave was bright and glittering with every color, but I couldn’t determine where the source of the light was. I arrived there stunned. Mystified. Enamored literally beyond my wildest dreams (and I have definitely had some wild ones!). I just sat in this cave in awe.
Almost as soon as I had arrived, I felt a warm arm wrap around my chest and a soft voice saying close to my ear, “I love you, mom.”
A blissful smile graced my face as the vision of the jeweled cavern faded into the pale walls of the bedroom I share with my son, and he, as he often does, started to tell me all about scolopendra polymorpha… the pet centipede he so desperately wants to add to his collection of beloved creatures.
I ask him how we’ll care for it and what it eats. The conversation gets rolling, and so does the morning.
Coffee. Making breakfast. Checking emails. Writing updates. What an exquisite toggle from one beautiful world to another.
